I have always been an A+ kind of girl and I'm no where near that grade. I'm struggling with the fact that I feel like I should be back in A+ mode and I'm not either physically or mentally.
Being a healthcare professional I understand that it takes time for our body to heal but I think that mine should heal 100 times faster :). It has been 3 weeks and I have accomplished little to nothing at home but laying around. I should be grateful that I can do this so I can heal properly but I feel guilty that I'm not doing anything.
I have been out a couple of times to have lunch with Brian and some friends. I got my infusion this week so I am crossing my fingers that the Remicade will keep everything in remission. I have to catch a break eventually right??
I can honestly say that I love all the love and support that I have around me. There has not been a day where I haven't got a phone call or a text asking me how everything is going and how I am feeling. I still feel very sore and slow but that will go away eventually. My stupid Crohn's won't go away however.
So true!!!
Again I can't tell you how much I love everyone around me even when I have been very unlovable. I have hit my breaking point recently when I have used "I'm sick" as an excuse for a lot of things when I was sick. Maybe it's not an excuse since its absolutely the truth but I stopped being a good person/friend/sister/wife/mother/friend/daughter.......
And you know what maybe that's how it's going to be for a while.
Maybe this in-between period that I am in will last 3 more weeks or 6 months. Whatever it is I will continue to take 1 step forward every day.
I'm learning to chill and take things kind of slowly. I'm not superwoman even though I think I am
I'm throwing all the expectations I have of myself and will accept only what I can do
I will be kinder to myself and most of all smile
And continue to take this one day....one hour...one minute.... One step at a time.
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