Defeated.......

As most of you know I am one strong woman but I have hit another boulder that I can't get past and need to give in. I haven't been feeling well Crohn's wise for the past 2 months or so and it only continues to get worse :( I will bear you from all the gross details about my flare up but let's just say Charming is my best friend and febreze.  The book of medicine isn't working like planned so I had a surgical consult yesterday. That is where surgery comes in. I'm scheduled for surgery on Monday at 1230pm... Keep me in your thoughts and prayers as its going to be a trying day for myself and my family.  

I have to giggle a bit about this because I struggle with knowing how to deal with all of this when I have learned how to always put on a brave face no matter what I was feeling.  You kind of become an expert after 15 years of "living sick and looking cute"! That statement alone is hurting me right now as my kids don't understand how I'm feeling because I look just like mom on the outside.  It will be a hard week for lily because school starts Wednesday and I will be in the hospital. I already told her that we would put all her clothes out for the week so she matched....you never know what he could put her in. Lucas starts kindergarten this week and I will be missing the first day which is huge. I think it's hurting me more than it will probably hurt him. I just wish everything came easy yet it doesn't. Like I said before my kids will understand all of this eventually just not today.  

Sorry I haven't posted in a long time. I will try to continue to post my updates on here so you can read and of course on Facebook. I will have all sorts of time to lay down and do nothing unfortunately. You can give me some new hobbies if you have ideas!!  

Talk soon